


Me, The Incomplete

by Kanero16



Category: IDOLiSH7 (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Loneliness, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-13
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:27:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26442685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kanero16/pseuds/Kanero16
Summary: "I couldn’t decipher my feelings on the matter, couldn’t come to terms that there might even be a hint of love towards you."A time lapse of Momo's relationship with Banri through the years
Relationships: Momo/Oogami Banri
Kudos: 24
Collections: IDOLiSH7 Rarepairs Week 2020





	Me, The Incomplete

**Author's Note:**

> For i7 Rare Pairs week day one:  
> Family / Mikansei na Bokura

It was after a concert when you invited me over for an after party. Drinks were served and between yourself and Yuki, you both managed a couple of beers each. I babied mine, not knowing how to act or respond to anything said or done. My heart wouldn’t stop beating against my chest, it was almost violent. 

It wasn’t until Yuki fell asleep that you moved to sit next to me. Your cheeks held color, but not as much as Yuki’s. You were talking to me, but I couldn’t figure out what it meant. Maybe I was a little drunk too. But then you leaned closer, your hair falling around your face. You were coming dangerously close and my heart was beating like it never did before. 

And then you kissed me. 

I could taste the alcohol on your breath and I knew this wouldn’t have been a choice you would have made if you were sober. But there was a little piece of me that wanted it to mean something. Before I had the courage to kiss you back you were pulling away, that goofy smile plastered on your face. I knew my face had to have my feelings written all over it, but you just set your can of half finished beer on the table and stretched out on the floor. It didn’t take long for you to fall asleep and I again questioned why I was allowed to be around the two of you.

I couldn’t stop thinking about that night. Every night as I waited for sleep to overcome me I rolled the scene over and over in my head; remembering how you looked, how soft your lips were on mine, that smile that should’ve landed me in a hospital. I couldn’t decipher my feelings on the matter, couldn’t come to terms that there might even be a hint of love towards you. I should just stop thinking about it already. There was no way Banri would do something like that while sober, so I should hide these feelings deep, deep down in my heart. 

You were dazzling. It didn’t matter where you were; on stage, off stage, even lying next to me. You dazzled like the many stars that littered the sky at night. I couldn’t come to terms with it just being us. Our faces were so close, our breath tangling around each other as we shared a moment of stillness. Your fingers curled around mine as your lips touched every knuckle. My face was sure to be a disgusting hue of red as I tried to figure out my feelings. Once my last knuckle was caressed by your lips you looked at me again. Your smile was so sweet and I felt that, even with my emotions stirring in the pit of my stomach, I was allowed to be here with you. 

There were no drinks offered tonight and when your lips found mine I couldn’t stop the raw emotion of wanting to kiss you back. So I allowed myself to kiss you, to hold you close, to share a moment in time, just with you.

And then you were gone. 

I wasn’t allowed visitation at the hospital and by the time I gained the courage to try to visit again, you had checked yourself out. No one knew where you were or where you had gone. I grew scared the more places I looked and you weren’t there. I worried for Yuki, since he was closest with you and my worries came to light when I saw the state he was in. Why did you leave without even a goodbye? I started to think that I had done something wrong. That something was said the last night we had shared together and drew the fine line that it was over. 

Yuki turned me away day after day and it reached a point where I would come home and cry into my pillows over what was now lost. What had gone through your mind that last night you were in the hospital? Why would you leave so suddenly even though you were still in very much need of healing? I wondered if Yuki was thinking the same thing as me. Even though it hurt, I kept going back to see Yuki. I wanted him to keep making music, so that maybe you would hear it and come back to us. Maybe you would come back to me.

Five years later, you appeared before our eyes. I thought Yuki was going to cry when he saw you walk into our dressing room. I figured it was best to keep my distance. This was more of a reunion for you and Yuki anyways. Of course I was shocked to see you after so long; your hair had grown out and you dawned a suit which fit you perfectly. Bangs covered your forehead and I frowned thinking about what lurked underneath.

“You’re making a weird face, Momo.” Your cheerful voice met my ears. 

I looked up and fell into those electrifying eyes again. I stuttered and backed away. I didn’t want those feelings to come back all at once, didn’t want the longing to eat at my stomach until I was sick. You wore that same smile that you had so long ago. 

If circumstances were different, I would’ve liked to go out to dinner and catch up, to follow you back to your apartment and fall asleep in your arms like we had done so many times before. Would you try to kiss me as I hid behind a pillow? Would I give in and kiss you back after you were successful? You must have known what I was thinking about, my emotions clear on my face as always around you. You placed your hand on my head, ruffling my hair in the process as you smiled at me. 

“I’m sorry, Momo.” It was nothing more than a whisper and then your hand was gone.

I wanted to cry, to reach for your hand and keep you from leaving. But we were professionals now. Any emotion that surfaced had to be pushed back into the darkest parts of our hearts. So instead of forcing tears back, I forced a smile onto my face.

“Ban-san you should pat Yuki’s head too!” I grabbed Yuki’s arm. “He’s been working super hard!”

Yuki tried to play it off as not really doing anything, but I insisted that it was more than just ‘nothing.’ Banri seemed to understand what I was doing, coming over to pat Yuki’s head and feed him kind words. 

This was how it had to be between us now. Simple gestures that signified friendship and nothing more. There was a new feeling that lurked within my heart and I hated it even before I got to know what it meant. 

I was incomplete.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! ♥
> 
> I wanted to try writing in a different POV and, while it had some challenges, it was a lot of fun! The prompt 'Mikansei na Bokura' was my driving force for this (lol)
> 
> Kudos and/or comments are always appreciated!


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